Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls

  (415): View more from California

  Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?

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  (310): I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls (415): Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr? http://tfl.nu/tx8e
  Replies (7) Good night (1615) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.

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  (703): help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help. http://tfl.nu/t5wn
  Replies (11) Good night (702) Bad night (1578)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.

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  (307): I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist. http://tfl.nu/unvw
  Replies (12) Good night (1105) Bad night (1550)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.

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  (954): I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs. http://tfl.nu/kpvs
  Replies (37) Good night (1861) Bad night (3674)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops

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  (978): Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops http://tfl.nu/wqmx
  Replies (45) Good night (4440) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.

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  (425): My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/7fga
  Replies (18) Good night (7794) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number

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  (709): I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number http://tfl.nu/l21z
  Replies (12) Good night (5480) Bad night (1481)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Not including when spray tanning

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  (425): It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom. (425): Not including when spray tanning http://tfl.nu/n9vy
  Replies (17) Good night (1025) Bad night (4172)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.

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  (954): Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/zg18
  Replies (25) Good night (4998) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.

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  (210): I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float. http://tfl.nu/rjkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1082) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Shania Twain would have been proud

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  (218): the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up (701): Shania Twain would have been proud http://tfl.nu/u6vz
  Replies (3) Good night (1044) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Good point.

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  (334): That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating. (678): Good point. http://tfl.nu/bwir
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I need a costume

  (206): View more from Washington

  Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha

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  (425): I need a costume (206): Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha http://tfl.nu/g01f
  Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.

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  (714): I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior. http://tfl.nu/g7q9
  Replies (5) Good night (573) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool

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  (312): I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool http://tfl.nu/6zmi
  Replies (0) Good night (382) Bad night (447)

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