I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
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our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
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Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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