Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(260): View more from Indiana

butt plug

(248): View more from Michigan

anus plug

(260): View more from Indiana

rubbish cock?

(248): View more from Michigan

yes

(260): View more from Indiana

you suck at this game today

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(415): View more from California

i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.

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(260): View more from Indiana

apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"

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(818): View more from California

I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.

(805): View more from California

What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad

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