So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
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There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.