All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way