Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.

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(914): View more from New York

I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me

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(281): View more from Texas

my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family

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(402): View more from Nebraska

She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor

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(483): View more from

Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C

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(631): View more from New York

i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.

(1-631): View more from New York

I suggest you not find out the hard way

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