This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
