Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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