If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
