whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Come see our sink grown plant.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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