Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
