I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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