Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
