some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
