guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
