I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
