There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
