This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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