Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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