i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wish my penis had a tongue
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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