If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
