I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
