maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
