goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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