every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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