I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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