UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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