I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
