you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize