Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There's always time for handjobs
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize