Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
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Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
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I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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