And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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