I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think my vagina is haunted
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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