Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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