so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
