If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
