thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
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