You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
