I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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