Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
dude. I can hear the air.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
