oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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