p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
