hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
