I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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