remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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