Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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