I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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