I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
