Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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