I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
