Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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