don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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