Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
