Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
