Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
