is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
