chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
