woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
