my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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