You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm really busy with my period
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