He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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