Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
