are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
