There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
