I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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