u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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