got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
