there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
