She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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