sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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