Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
