it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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