the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
